Wednesday, June 8, 2011
BOFH excuse #151: Some one needed the powerstrip, so they pulled the switch plug.
BOFH excuse #151: Some one needed the powerstrip, so they pulled the switch plug.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
BOFH excuse #44: bank holiday - system operating credits not recharged
BOFH excuse #44: bank holiday - system operating credits not recharged
BOFH excuse #405: Sysadmins unavailable because they are in a meeting talking about why they are unavailable so much.
BOFH excuse #405: Sysadmins unavailable because they are in a meeting talking about why they are unavailable so much.
BOFH excuse #433: error: one bad user found in front of screen
BOFH excuse #433: error: one bad user found in front of screen
Debian Hint #10: There are Debian mailing lists for everything from user questions to debates over what to put into the Debian Policy documents. Check out the list at http://www.debian.org/MailingLists/ and subscribe to those that interest you.
Debian Hint #10: There are Debian mailing lists for everything from user questions to debates over what to put into the Debian Policy documents. Check out the list at http://www.debian.org/MailingLists/ and subscribe to those that interest you.
BOFH excuse #171: NOTICE: alloc: /dev/null: filesystem full
BOFH excuse #171: NOTICE: alloc: /dev/null: filesystem full
BOFH excuse #408: Computers under water due to SYN flooding.
BOFH excuse #408: Computers under water due to SYN flooding.
Debian Hint #20: Want to keep track of what version of a package you have installed (especially useful for those running hybrid stable / testing / unstable systems)? Check out apt-show-versions.
Debian Hint #20: Want to keep track of what version of a package you have installed (especially useful for those running hybrid stable / testing / unstable systems)? Check out apt-show-versions.
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 13th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 13th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #338: old inkjet cartridges emanate barium-based fumes
BOFH excuse #338: old inkjet cartridges emanate barium-based fumes
BOFH excuse #14: sounds like a Windows problem, try calling Microsoft support
BOFH excuse #14: sounds like a Windows problem, try calling Microsoft support
Debian Hint #37: In search for some games? Take a look at 'goplay', which offers a nice Frontend for browsing through all kind of games.
Debian Hint #37: In search for some games? Take a look at 'goplay', which offers a nice Frontend for browsing through all kind of games.
BOFH excuse #50: Change in Earth's rotational speed
BOFH excuse #50: Change in Earth's rotational speed
BOFH excuse #428: Firmware update in the coffee machine
BOFH excuse #428: Firmware update in the coffee machine
To find a package which name or description contains a keyword use: 'apt-cache search '. 'apt-cache showpkg ' to get details.
To find a package which name or description contains a keyword use: 'apt-cache search <keyword>'. 'apt-cache showpkg <packagename>' to get details.
BOFH excuse #55: Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture
BOFH excuse #55: Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture
BOFH excuse #236: Fanout dropping voltage too much, try cutting some of those little traces
BOFH excuse #236: Fanout dropping voltage too much, try cutting some of those little traces
Monday, June 6, 2011
BOFH excuse #240: Too many little pins on CPU confusing it, bend back and forth until 10-20% are neatly removed. Do _not_ leave metal bits visible!
BOFH excuse #240: Too many little pins on CPU confusing it, bend back and forth until 10-20% are neatly removed. Do _not_ leave metal bits visible!
Debian Hint #43: You can use 'apt-cache show ' or 'aptitude show ' to get more information about a debian package.
Debian Hint #43: You can use 'apt-cache show <package_name>' or 'aptitude show <package_name>' to get more information about a debian package.
BOFH excuse #289: Interference between the keyboard and the chair.
BOFH excuse #289: Interference between the keyboard and the chair.
Documentation and other resources pointers for Ubuntu Server Edition are provided at: http://www.ubuntu.com/server/doc
Documentation and other resources pointers for Ubuntu Server Edition are provided at: http://www.ubuntu.com/server/doc
BOFH excuse #227: Fatal error right in front of screen
BOFH excuse #227: Fatal error right in front of screen
BOFH excuse #286: Telecommunications is downgrading.
BOFH excuse #286: Telecommunications is downgrading.
Today is Pungenday, the 12th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
Today is Pungenday, the 12th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #414: tachyon emissions overloading the system
BOFH excuse #414: tachyon emissions overloading the system
BOFH excuse #57: Groundskeepers stole the root password
BOFH excuse #57: Groundskeepers stole the root password
BOFH excuse #131: telnet: Unable to connect to remote host: Connection refused
BOFH excuse #131: telnet: Unable to connect to remote host: Connection refused
BOFH excuse #316: Elves on strike. (Why do they call EMAG Elf Magic)
BOFH excuse #316: Elves on strike. (Why do they call EMAG Elf Magic)
Use lsof to find out which process has open handles for a file. 'lsof +D /path' will find all processes for the given path. This is useful for unmounting media.
Use lsof to find out which process has open handles for a file. 'lsof +D /path' will find all processes for the given path. This is useful for unmounting media.
You can contact the Ubuntu Server team on IRC using chat.freenode.net in channel #ubuntu-server. You can also use http://webchat.freenode.net.
You can contact the Ubuntu Server team on IRC using chat.freenode.net in channel #ubuntu-server. You can also use http://webchat.freenode.net.
Debian Hint #22: Wondering which Debian mirror is best for you? Check out the apt-spy and netselect-apt packages, which can give you information about how various mirror sites perform.
Debian Hint #22: Wondering which Debian mirror is best for you? Check out the apt-spy and netselect-apt packages, which can give you information about how various mirror sites perform.
A for loop in bash syntax: 'for i in * ; do echo $i ; done'.
A for loop in bash syntax: 'for i in * ; do echo $i ; done'.
BOFH excuse #346: Your/our computer(s) had suffered a memory leak, and we are waiting for them to be topped up.
BOFH excuse #346: Your/our computer(s) had suffered a memory leak, and we are waiting for them to be topped up.
BOFH excuse #37: heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor rapidly
BOFH excuse #37: heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor rapidly
Sunday, June 5, 2011
If you want to download a file from a URL via the console, you can use the command 'wget http://address/to/file.tar'
If you want to download a file from a URL via the console, you can use the command 'wget http://address/to/file.tar'
You can add "| grep word" to search for a word in the output of a command. grep can also search through several files: "grep -r -e word /etc".
You can add "| grep word" to search for a word in the output of a command. grep can also search through several files: "grep -r -e word /etc".
BOFH excuse #360: Your parity check is overdrawn and you're out of cache.
BOFH excuse #360: Your parity check is overdrawn and you're out of cache.
The free command tells you the status of your memory and swap, how much you have used and how much you have left.
The free command tells you the status of your memory and swap, how much you have used and how much you have left.
BOFH excuse #176: vapors from evaporating sticky-note adhesives
BOFH excuse #176: vapors from evaporating sticky-note adhesives
Today is Boomtime, the 11th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
Today is Boomtime, the 11th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #140: LBNC (luser brain not connected)
BOFH excuse #140: LBNC (luser brain not connected)
BOFH excuse #349: Stray Alpha Particles from memory packaging caused Hard Memory Error on Server.
BOFH excuse #349: Stray Alpha Particles from memory packaging caused Hard Memory Error on Server.
BOFH excuse #220: Someone thought The Big Red Button was a light switch.
BOFH excuse #220: Someone thought The Big Red Button was a light switch.
BOFH excuse #232: Ionization from the air-conditioning
BOFH excuse #232: Ionization from the air-conditioning
BOFH excuse #368: Failure to adjust for daylight savings time.
BOFH excuse #368: Failure to adjust for daylight savings time.
BOFH excuse #36: dynamic software linking table corrupted
BOFH excuse #36: dynamic software linking table corrupted
Debian Hint #29: Keep your system clock accurate - install the 'ntpdate' package and configure it to set the time at startup. In addition, machines which are turned on most or all of the time should have the 'ntp' package installed to keep the time accurate in between reboots.
Debian Hint #29: Keep your system clock accurate - install the 'ntpdate' package and configure it to set the time at startup. In addition, machines which are turned on most or all of the time should have the 'ntp' package installed to keep the time accurate in between reboots.
You can use the text-based web browser w3m to browse the Internet in your console screen. e.g 'w3m http://ubuntu.com'
You can use the text-based web browser w3m to browse the Internet in your console screen. e.g 'w3m http://ubuntu.com'
BOFH excuse #141: disks spinning backwards - toggle the hemisphere jumper.
BOFH excuse #141: disks spinning backwards - toggle the hemisphere jumper.
BOFH excuse #40: not enough memory, go get system upgrade
BOFH excuse #40: not enough memory, go get system upgrade
BOFH excuse #434: Please state the nature of the technical emergency
BOFH excuse #434: Please state the nature of the technical emergency
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
BOFH excuse #312: incompatible bit-registration operators
BOFH excuse #312: incompatible bit-registration operators
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Debian Hint #15: The documentation for a package can normally be found under /usr/share/doc/. In particular, the README.Debian file often has useful information about Debian-specific quirks or tips.
Debian Hint #15: The documentation for a package can normally be found under /usr/share/doc/<package>. In particular, the README.Debian file often has useful information about Debian-specific quirks or tips.
BOFH excuse #246: It must have been the lightning storm we had (yesterday) (last week) (last month)
BOFH excuse #246: It must have been the lightning storm we had (yesterday) (last week) (last month)
Debian Hint #14: If you would like to follow things happening to a package (for example, if you want to see bug reports, release notices, and other similar things), consider subscribing to it on the Package Tracking System. You can find out more about the PTS at: http://www.debian.org/doc/manuals/developers-reference/ch-resources.en.html (Section 4.10)
Debian Hint #14: If you would like to follow things happening to a package (for example, if you want to see bug reports, release notices, and other similar things), consider subscribing to it on the Package Tracking System. You can find out more about the PTS at: http://www.debian.org/doc/manuals/developers-reference/ch-resources.en.html (Section 4.10)
BOFH excuse #350: paradigm shift...without a clutch
BOFH excuse #350: paradigm shift...without a clutch
Your KVM powered virtual machines will do IOs up to seven times faster if you enable virtio. http://tinyurl.com/virtio
Your KVM powered virtual machines will do IOs up to seven times faster if you enable virtio. http://tinyurl.com/virtio
Instead of typing the user and group, if they are the same (like for www-data) you can just type the user followed by a colon: 'sudo chown -R www-data: *'
Instead of typing the user and group, if they are the same (like for www-data) you can just type the user followed by a colon: 'sudo chown -R www-data: *'
Today is Sweetmorn, the 10th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
Today is Sweetmorn, the 10th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #270: Someone has messed up the kernel pointers
BOFH excuse #270: Someone has messed up the kernel pointers
BOFH excuse #29: It works the way the Wang did, what's the problem
BOFH excuse #29: It works the way the Wang did, what's the problem
BOFH excuse #116: the real ttys became pseudo ttys and vice-versa.
BOFH excuse #116: the real ttys became pseudo ttys and vice-versa.
BOFH excuse #168: le0: no carrier: transceiver cable problem?
BOFH excuse #168: le0: no carrier: transceiver cable problem?
BOFH excuse #143: had to use hammer to free stuck disk drive heads.
BOFH excuse #143: had to use hammer to free stuck disk drive heads.
BOFH excuse #259: Someone's tie is caught in the printer, and if anything else gets printed, he'll be in it too.
BOFH excuse #259: Someone's tie is caught in the printer, and if anything else gets printed, he'll be in it too.
BOFH excuse #273: The cord jumped over and hit the power switch.
BOFH excuse #273: The cord jumped over and hit the power switch.
BOFH excuse #56: Electricians made popcorn in the power supply
BOFH excuse #56: Electricians made popcorn in the power supply
BOFH excuse #195: We only support a 28000 bps connection.
BOFH excuse #195: We only support a 28000 bps connection.
BOFH excuse #123: user to computer ratio too high.
BOFH excuse #123: user to computer ratio too high.
BOFH excuse #306: CPU-angle has to be adjusted because of vibrations coming from the nearby road
BOFH excuse #306: CPU-angle has to be adjusted because of vibrations coming from the nearby road
Debian Hint #25: The 'debian-reference' package contains a wide variety of reference documents for Debian users and developers. Most of the information can also be found at the following URL: http://www.debian.org/doc/manuals/reference.
Debian Hint #25: The 'debian-reference' package contains a wide variety of reference documents for Debian users and developers. Most of the information can also be found at the following URL: http://www.debian.org/doc/manuals/reference.
Friday, June 3, 2011
BOFH excuse #385: Dyslexics retyping hosts file on servers
BOFH excuse #385: Dyslexics retyping hosts file on servers
BOFH excuse #417: Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend.
BOFH excuse #417: Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend.
Debian Hint #35: The package 'devscripts' contains some useful scripts for users who want to help to improve Debian, e.g. wnpp-alert, rc-alert and bts.
Debian Hint #35: The package 'devscripts' contains some useful scripts for users who want to help to improve Debian, e.g. wnpp-alert, rc-alert and bts.
BOFH excuse #87: Password is too complex to decrypt
BOFH excuse #87: Password is too complex to decrypt
BOFH excuse #278: The Dilithium Crystals need to be rotated.
BOFH excuse #278: The Dilithium Crystals need to be rotated.
Use 'dpkg --get-selections > selections.txt' to save a selection and 'dpkg --set-selections < selections.txt && apt-get dselect-upgrade' to restore.
Use 'dpkg --get-selections > selections.txt' to save a selection and 'dpkg --set-selections < selections.txt && apt-get dselect-upgrade' to restore.
BOFH excuse #337: the butane lighter causes the pincushioning
BOFH excuse #337: the butane lighter causes the pincushioning
Today is Setting Orange, the 9th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
Today is Setting Orange, the 9th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
Want to run your own cloud infrastructure in your enterprise? Ubuntu Enterprise Cloud powered by Eucalyptus has what you need: http://www.ubuntu.com/cloud
Want to run your own cloud infrastructure in your enterprise? Ubuntu Enterprise Cloud powered by Eucalyptus has what you need: http://www.ubuntu.com/cloud
BOFH excuse #282: High altitude condensation from U.S.A.F prototype aircraft has contaminated the primary subnet mask. Turn off your computer for 9 days to avoid damaging it.
BOFH excuse #282: High altitude condensation from U.S.A.F prototype aircraft has contaminated the primary subnet mask. Turn off your computer for 9 days to avoid damaging it.
BOFH excuse #450: Terrorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)
BOFH excuse #450: Terrorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)
Debian Hint #37: In search for some games? Take a look at 'goplay', which offers a nice Frontend for browsing through all kind of games.
Debian Hint #37: In search for some games? Take a look at 'goplay', which offers a nice Frontend for browsing through all kind of games.
BOFH excuse #356: the daemons! the daemons! the terrible daemons!
BOFH excuse #356: the daemons! the daemons! the terrible daemons!
BOFH excuse #252: Our ISP is having {switching,routing,SMDS,frame relay} problems
BOFH excuse #252: Our ISP is having {switching,routing,SMDS,frame relay} problems
BOFH excuse #414: tachyon emissions overloading the system
BOFH excuse #414: tachyon emissions overloading the system
BOFH excuse #317: Internet exceeded Luser level, please wait until a luser logs off before attempting to log back on.
BOFH excuse #317: Internet exceeded Luser level, please wait until a luser logs off before attempting to log back on.
BOFH excuse #68: only available on a need to know basis
BOFH excuse #68: only available on a need to know basis
Debian Hint #11: Keep up to date on what's going on - read the Debian Times. Read it on the web at http://times.debian.net/
Debian Hint #11: Keep up to date on what's going on - read the Debian Times. Read it on the web at http://times.debian.net/
You can change your hostname by editing the file /etc/hostname.
You can change your hostname by editing the file /etc/hostname.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
BOFH excuse #380: Operators killed when huge stack of backup tapes fell over.
BOFH excuse #380: Operators killed when huge stack of backup tapes fell over.
BOFH excuse #293: You must've hit the wrong any key.
BOFH excuse #293: You must've hit the wrong any key.
BOFH excuse #373: Suspicious pointer corrupted virtual machine
BOFH excuse #373: Suspicious pointer corrupted virtual machine
BOFH excuse #221: The mainframe needs to rest. It's getting old, you know.
BOFH excuse #221: The mainframe needs to rest. It's getting old, you know.
BOFH excuse #440: Cache miss - please take better aim next time
BOFH excuse #440: Cache miss - please take better aim next time
BOFH excuse #168: le0: no carrier: transceiver cable problem?
BOFH excuse #168: le0: no carrier: transceiver cable problem?
BOFH excuse #417: Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend.
BOFH excuse #417: Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend.
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 8th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 8th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #123: user to computer ratio too high.
BOFH excuse #123: user to computer ratio too high.
BOFH excuse #345: Having to manually track the satellite.
BOFH excuse #345: Having to manually track the satellite.
Use 'tail -f file' to watch a log file as messages get appended, and use 'tail -100 file' to change the count of lines read from the file.
Use 'tail -f file' to watch a log file as messages get appended, and use 'tail -100 file' to change the count of lines read from the file.
BOFH excuse #245: The Borg tried to assimilate your system. Resistance is futile.
BOFH excuse #245: The Borg tried to assimilate your system. Resistance is futile.
BOFH excuse #240: Too many little pins on CPU confusing it, bend back and forth until 10-20% are neatly removed. Do _not_ leave metal bits visible!
BOFH excuse #240: Too many little pins on CPU confusing it, bend back and forth until 10-20% are neatly removed. Do _not_ leave metal bits visible!
BOFH excuse #151: Some one needed the powerstrip, so they pulled the switch plug.
BOFH excuse #151: Some one needed the powerstrip, so they pulled the switch plug.
BOFH excuse #51: Cosmic ray particles crashed through the hard disk platter
BOFH excuse #51: Cosmic ray particles crashed through the hard disk platter
BOFH excuse #248: Too much radiation coming from the soil.
BOFH excuse #248: Too much radiation coming from the soil.
BOFH excuse #216: What office are you in? Oh, that one. Did you know that your building was built over the universities first nuclear research site? And wow, aren't you the lucky one, your office is right over where the core is buried!
BOFH excuse #216: What office are you in? Oh, that one. Did you know that your building was built over the universities first nuclear research site? And wow, aren't you the lucky one, your office is right over where the core is buried!
BOFH excuse #345: Having to manually track the satellite.
BOFH excuse #345: Having to manually track the satellite.
Debian Hint #20: Want to keep track of what version of a package you have installed (especially useful for those running hybrid stable / testing / unstable systems)? Check out apt-show-versions.
Debian Hint #20: Want to keep track of what version of a package you have installed (especially useful for those running hybrid stable / testing / unstable systems)? Check out apt-show-versions.
BOFH excuse #128: Power Company having EMP problems with their reactor
BOFH excuse #128: Power Company having EMP problems with their reactor
Use "top" to get a view of your server's performance such as processor, memory and swap utilisation and see a rolling display of the top cpu using processes.
Use "top" to get a view of your server's performance such as processor, memory and swap utilisation and see a rolling display of the top cpu using processes.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Debian Hint #18: Quality control information about a package can be found by going to http://packages.qa.debian.org/; this page provides links to the Maintainer's QA page, the BTS, news items for the package, and information on which versions are available in which archives.
Debian Hint #18: Quality control information about a package can be found by going to http://packages.qa.debian.org/<package>; this page provides links to the Maintainer's QA page, the BTS, news items for the package, and information on which versions are available in which archives.
BOFH excuse #410: Electrical conduits in machine room are melting.
BOFH excuse #410: Electrical conduits in machine room are melting.
BOFH excuse #118: the router thinks its a printer.
BOFH excuse #118: the router thinks its a printer.
Today is Pungenday, the 7th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
Today is Pungenday, the 7th day of Confusion in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #317: Internet exceeded Luser level, please wait until a luser logs off before attempting to log back on.
BOFH excuse #317: Internet exceeded Luser level, please wait until a luser logs off before attempting to log back on.
BOFH excuse #406: Bad cafeteria food landed all the sysadmins in the hospital.
BOFH excuse #406: Bad cafeteria food landed all the sysadmins in the hospital.
BOFH excuse #270: Someone has messed up the kernel pointers
BOFH excuse #270: Someone has messed up the kernel pointers
Debian Hint #4: You can see the available and installed versions for one or more available packages with the command 'apt-cache policy '.
Debian Hint #4: You can see the available and installed versions for one or more available packages with the command 'apt-cache policy <packages>'.
BOFH excuse #440: Cache miss - please take better aim next time
BOFH excuse #440: Cache miss - please take better aim next time
BOFH excuse #411: Traffic jam on the Information Superhighway.
BOFH excuse #411: Traffic jam on the Information Superhighway.
BOFH excuse #334: 50% of the manual is in .pdf readme files
BOFH excuse #334: 50% of the manual is in .pdf readme files
BOFH excuse #207: We are currently trying a new concept of using a live mouse. Unfortunately, one has yet to survive being hooked up to the computer.....please bear with us.
BOFH excuse #207: We are currently trying a new concept of using a live mouse. Unfortunately, one has yet to survive being hooked up to the computer.....please bear with us.
BOFH excuse #316: Elves on strike. (Why do they call EMAG Elf Magic)
BOFH excuse #316: Elves on strike. (Why do they call EMAG Elf Magic)
Use awk to quickly filter columns from some command output. e.g.: ls -l | awk '{print $3 " " $9}'
Use awk to quickly filter columns from some command output. e.g.: ls -l | awk '{print $3 " " $9}'
Debian Hint #34: The package 'doc-debian' contains some general documentation about the Debian project. It is also available in spanish (doc-debian-es), french (doc-debian-fr) and ukrainian (doc-debian-uk).
Debian Hint #34: The package 'doc-debian' contains some general documentation about the Debian project. It is also available in spanish (doc-debian-es), french (doc-debian-fr) and ukrainian (doc-debian-uk).
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