Monday, January 31, 2011
BOFH excuse #311: transient bus protocol violation
BOFH excuse #311: transient bus protocol violation
Debian Hint #44: You can use 'apt-file list ' to obtain a listing of the contents of debian package. This action is similar to 'dpkg -L ' except the package does not need to be installed or fetched using apt-file in contrast to dpkg.
Debian Hint #44: You can use 'apt-file list <package_name>' to obtain a listing of the contents of debian package. This action is similar to 'dpkg -L <package_name>' except the package does not need to be installed or fetched using apt-file in contrast to dpkg.
Today is Boomtime, the 32nd day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Boomtime, the 32nd day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Use awk to quickly filter columns from some command output. e.g.: ls -l | awk '{print $3 " " $9}'
Use awk to quickly filter columns from some command output. e.g.: ls -l | awk '{print $3 " " $9}'
BOFH excuse #249: Unfortunately we have run out of bits/bytes/whatever. Don't worry, the next supply will be coming next week.
BOFH excuse #249: Unfortunately we have run out of bits/bytes/whatever. Don't worry, the next supply will be coming next week.
BOFH excuse #288: Hard drive sleeping. Let it wake up on it's own...
BOFH excuse #288: Hard drive sleeping. Let it wake up on it's own...
BOFH excuse #351: PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)
BOFH excuse #351: PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
BOFH excuse #198: Post-it Note Sludge leaked into the monitor.
BOFH excuse #198: Post-it Note Sludge leaked into the monitor.
BOFH excuse #234: Someone is broadcasting pygmy packets and the router doesn't know how to deal with them.
BOFH excuse #234: Someone is broadcasting pygmy packets and the router doesn't know how to deal with them.
Today is Sweetmorn, the 31st day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Sweetmorn, the 31st day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #351: PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)
BOFH excuse #351: PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)
BOFH excuse #92: Stale file handle (next time use Tupperware(tm)!)
BOFH excuse #92: Stale file handle (next time use Tupperware(tm)!)
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
BOFH excuse #440: Cache miss - please take better aim next time
BOFH excuse #440: Cache miss - please take better aim next time
BOFH excuse #195: We only support a 28000 bps connection.
BOFH excuse #195: We only support a 28000 bps connection.
BOFH excuse #117: the printer thinks its a router.
BOFH excuse #117: the printer thinks its a router.
Today is Setting Orange, the 30th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Setting Orange, the 30th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Unsure if AppArmor might be causing an issue? Don't disable it, use the proper debugging procedure: https://wiki.ubuntu.com/DebuggingApparmor
Unsure if AppArmor might be causing an issue? Don't disable it, use the proper debugging procedure: https://wiki.ubuntu.com/DebuggingApparmor
BOFH excuse #84: Someone is standing on the ethernet cable, causing a kink in the cable
BOFH excuse #84: Someone is standing on the ethernet cable, causing a kink in the cable
BOFH excuse #274: It was OK before you touched it.
BOFH excuse #274: It was OK before you touched it.
Successive commands usually process the same argument. 'Alt-.' inserts the last argument of the previous command. GNU readline rocks, read the manual.
Successive commands usually process the same argument. 'Alt-.' inserts the last argument of the previous command. GNU readline rocks, read the manual.
BOFH excuse #212: Of course it doesn't work. We've performed a software upgrade.
BOFH excuse #212: Of course it doesn't work. We've performed a software upgrade.
BOFH excuse #361: Communist revolutionaries taking over the server room and demanding all the computers in the building or they shoot the sysadmin. Poor misguided fools.
BOFH excuse #361: Communist revolutionaries taking over the server room and demanding all the computers in the building or they shoot the sysadmin. Poor misguided fools.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 29th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 29th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #281: The co-locator cannot verify the frame-relay gateway to the ISDN server.
BOFH excuse #281: The co-locator cannot verify the frame-relay gateway to the ISDN server.
BOFH excuse #214: Fluorescent lights are generating negative ions. If turning them off doesn't work, take them out and put tin foil on the ends.
BOFH excuse #214: Fluorescent lights are generating negative ions. If turning them off doesn't work, take them out and put tin foil on the ends.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
BOFH excuse #55: Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture
BOFH excuse #55: Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture
Today is Pungenday, the 28th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Pungenday, the 28th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
'etckeeper' allows you to save changes you make to /etc in a bazaar repository. Useful to track and revert changes. http://tinyurl.com/etckeeper
'etckeeper' allows you to save changes you make to /etc in a bazaar repository. Useful to track and revert changes. http://tinyurl.com/etckeeper
BOFH excuse #228: That function is not currently supported, but Bill Gates assures us it will be featured in the next upgrade.
BOFH excuse #228: That function is not currently supported, but Bill Gates assures us it will be featured in the next upgrade.
BOFH excuse #29: It works the way the Wang did, what's the problem
BOFH excuse #29: It works the way the Wang did, what's the problem
BOFH excuse #333: A plumber is needed, the network drain is clogged
BOFH excuse #333: A plumber is needed, the network drain is clogged
BOFH excuse #84: Someone is standing on the ethernet cable, causing a kink in the cable
BOFH excuse #84: Someone is standing on the ethernet cable, causing a kink in the cable
BOFH excuse #334: 50% of the manual is in .pdf readme files
BOFH excuse #334: 50% of the manual is in .pdf readme files
BOFH excuse #427: network down, IP packets delivered via UPS
BOFH excuse #427: network down, IP packets delivered via UPS
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Use "top" to get a view of your server's performance such as processor, memory and swap utilisation and see a rolling display of the top cpu using processes.
Use "top" to get a view of your server's performance such as processor, memory and swap utilisation and see a rolling display of the top cpu using processes.
Use awk to quickly filter columns from some command output. e.g.: ls -l | awk '{print $3 " " $9}'
Use awk to quickly filter columns from some command output. e.g.: ls -l | awk '{print $3 " " $9}'
Today is Boomtime, the 27th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Boomtime, the 27th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #371: Incorrectly configured static routes on the corerouters.
BOFH excuse #371: Incorrectly configured static routes on the corerouters.
BOFH excuse #453: Spider infestation in warm case parts
BOFH excuse #453: Spider infestation in warm case parts
Debian Hint #36: If you want to track Debian sid and have a small download quota or a really slow connection, check out the debdelta package.
Debian Hint #36: If you want to track Debian sid and have a small download quota or a really slow connection, check out the debdelta package.
BOFH excuse #450: Terrorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)
BOFH excuse #450: Terrorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)
To make a backup without typing the full path twice: 'cp /long/path/to/file/name{,.orig}' to create a copy with the suffix .orig
To make a backup without typing the full path twice: 'cp /long/path/to/file/name{,.orig}' to create a copy with the suffix .orig
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Debian Hint #17: Need someone to talk to about Debian? If you're comfortable with Internet Relay Chat (IRC), just install your favorite IRC client, and join #debian on irc.debian.org.
Debian Hint #17: Need someone to talk to about Debian? If you're comfortable with Internet Relay Chat (IRC), just install your favorite IRC client, and join #debian on irc.debian.org.
BOFH excuse #427: network down, IP packets delivered via UPS
BOFH excuse #427: network down, IP packets delivered via UPS
BOFH excuse #312: incompatible bit-registration operators
BOFH excuse #312: incompatible bit-registration operators
BOFH excuse #117: the printer thinks its a router.
BOFH excuse #117: the printer thinks its a router.
BOFH excuse #277: Your Flux Capacitor has gone bad.
BOFH excuse #277: Your Flux Capacitor has gone bad.
Today is Sweetmorn, the 26th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Sweetmorn, the 26th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #142: new guy cross-connected phone lines with ac power bus.
BOFH excuse #142: new guy cross-connected phone lines with ac power bus.
BOFH excuse #256: You need to install an RTFM interface.
BOFH excuse #256: You need to install an RTFM interface.
BOFH excuse #274: It was OK before you touched it.
BOFH excuse #274: It was OK before you touched it.
BOFH excuse #257: That would be because the software doesn't work.
BOFH excuse #257: That would be because the software doesn't work.
Monday, January 24, 2011
BOFH excuse #102: Power company testing new voltage spike (creation) equipment
BOFH excuse #102: Power company testing new voltage spike (creation) equipment
BOFH excuse #209: Only people with names beginning with 'A' are getting mail this week (a la Microsoft)
BOFH excuse #209: Only people with names beginning with 'A' are getting mail this week (a la Microsoft)
Debian Hint #36: If you want to track Debian sid and have a small download quota or a really slow connection, check out the debdelta package.
Debian Hint #36: If you want to track Debian sid and have a small download quota or a really slow connection, check out the debdelta package.
Today is Setting Orange, the 25th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Setting Orange, the 25th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #264: Your modem doesn't speak English.
BOFH excuse #264: Your modem doesn't speak English.
BOFH excuse #311: transient bus protocol violation
BOFH excuse #311: transient bus protocol violation
Sunday, January 23, 2011
BOFH excuse #135: You put the disk in upside down.
BOFH excuse #135: You put the disk in upside down.
Debian Hint #10: There are Debian mailing lists for everything from user questions to debates over what to put into the Debian Policy documents. Check out the list at http://www.debian.org/MailingLists/ and subscribe to those that interest you.
Debian Hint #10: There are Debian mailing lists for everything from user questions to debates over what to put into the Debian Policy documents. Check out the list at http://www.debian.org/MailingLists/ and subscribe to those that interest you.
BOFH excuse #382: Someone was smoking in the computer room and set off the halon systems.
BOFH excuse #382: Someone was smoking in the computer room and set off the halon systems.
BOFH excuse #368: Failure to adjust for daylight savings time.
BOFH excuse #368: Failure to adjust for daylight savings time.
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 24th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 24th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #59: failed trials, system needs redesigned
BOFH excuse #59: failed trials, system needs redesigned
BOFH excuse #434: Please state the nature of the technical emergency
BOFH excuse #434: Please state the nature of the technical emergency
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Debian Hint #44: You can use 'apt-file list ' to obtain a listing of the contents of debian package. This action is similar to 'dpkg -L ' except the package does not need to be installed or fetched using apt-file in contrast to dpkg.
Debian Hint #44: You can use 'apt-file list <package_name>' to obtain a listing of the contents of debian package. This action is similar to 'dpkg -L <package_name>' except the package does not need to be installed or fetched using apt-file in contrast to dpkg.
Today is Pungenday, the 23rd day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Pungenday, the 23rd day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #421: Domain controller not responding
BOFH excuse #421: Domain controller not responding
BOFH excuse #283: Lawn mower blade in your fan need sharpening
BOFH excuse #283: Lawn mower blade in your fan need sharpening
Instead of typing exit or closing the terminal if you want to logout you can press Ctrl+D.
Instead of typing exit or closing the terminal if you want to logout you can press Ctrl+D.
BOFH excuse #84: Someone is standing on the ethernet cable, causing a kink in the cable
BOFH excuse #84: Someone is standing on the ethernet cable, causing a kink in the cable
BOFH excuse #372: Forced to support NT servers; sysadmins quit.
BOFH excuse #372: Forced to support NT servers; sysadmins quit.
BOFH excuse #315: The recent proliferation of Nuclear Testing
BOFH excuse #315: The recent proliferation of Nuclear Testing
Friday, January 21, 2011
BOFH excuse #67: descramble code needed from software company
BOFH excuse #67: descramble code needed from software company
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
Today is Boomtime, the 22nd day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Boomtime, the 22nd day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #450: Terrorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)
BOFH excuse #450: Terrorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. (rm -rf /bin/laden)
Debian Hint #36: If you want to track Debian sid and have a small download quota or a really slow connection, check out the debdelta package.
Debian Hint #36: If you want to track Debian sid and have a small download quota or a really slow connection, check out the debdelta package.
BOFH excuse #277: Your Flux Capacitor has gone bad.
BOFH excuse #277: Your Flux Capacitor has gone bad.
BOFH excuse #397: T-1's congested due to porn traffic to the news server.
BOFH excuse #397: T-1's congested due to porn traffic to the news server.
BOFH excuse #171: NOTICE: alloc: /dev/null: filesystem full
BOFH excuse #171: NOTICE: alloc: /dev/null: filesystem full
Thursday, January 20, 2011
BOFH excuse #256: You need to install an RTFM interface.
BOFH excuse #256: You need to install an RTFM interface.
BOFH excuse #46: waste water tank overflowed onto computer
BOFH excuse #46: waste water tank overflowed onto computer
BOFH excuse #360: Your parity check is overdrawn and you're out of cache.
BOFH excuse #360: Your parity check is overdrawn and you're out of cache.
BOFH excuse #183: filesystem not big enough for Jumbo Kernel Patch
BOFH excuse #183: filesystem not big enough for Jumbo Kernel Patch
BOFH excuse #153: Big to little endian conversion error
BOFH excuse #153: Big to little endian conversion error
BOFH excuse #102: Power company testing new voltage spike (creation) equipment
BOFH excuse #102: Power company testing new voltage spike (creation) equipment
Today is Sweetmorn, the 21st day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Sweetmorn, the 21st day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #218: The UPS doesn't have a battery backup.
BOFH excuse #218: The UPS doesn't have a battery backup.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
BOFH excuse #63: not properly grounded, please bury computer
BOFH excuse #63: not properly grounded, please bury computer
BOFH excuse #352: The cables are not the same length.
BOFH excuse #352: The cables are not the same length.
BOFH excuse #373: Suspicious pointer corrupted virtual machine
BOFH excuse #373: Suspicious pointer corrupted virtual machine
Today is Setting Orange, the 20th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Setting Orange, the 20th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #259: Someone's tie is caught in the printer, and if anything else gets printed, he'll be in it too.
BOFH excuse #259: Someone's tie is caught in the printer, and if anything else gets printed, he'll be in it too.
BOFH excuse #243: The computer fleetly, mouse and all.
BOFH excuse #243: The computer fleetly, mouse and all.
BOFH excuse #14: sounds like a Windows problem, try calling Microsoft support
BOFH excuse #14: sounds like a Windows problem, try calling Microsoft support
BOFH excuse #197: I'm sorry a pentium won't do, you need an SGI to connect with us.
BOFH excuse #197: I'm sorry a pentium won't do, you need an SGI to connect with us.
Debian Hint #6: There is no hint #6. Submit a hint today !
Debian Hint #6: There is no hint #6. Submit a hint today !
BOFH excuse #324: Your packets were eaten by the terminator
BOFH excuse #324: Your packets were eaten by the terminator
BOFH excuse #78: Yes, yes, its called a design limitation
BOFH excuse #78: Yes, yes, its called a design limitation
BOFH excuse #55: Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture
BOFH excuse #55: Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
BOFH excuse #368: Failure to adjust for daylight savings time.
BOFH excuse #368: Failure to adjust for daylight savings time.
BOFH excuse #345: Having to manually track the satellite.
BOFH excuse #345: Having to manually track the satellite.
BOFH excuse #150: Arcserve crashed the server again.
BOFH excuse #150: Arcserve crashed the server again.
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 19th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 19th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #117: the printer thinks its a router.
BOFH excuse #117: the printer thinks its a router.
BOFH excuse #370: Virus due to computers having unsafe sex.
BOFH excuse #370: Virus due to computers having unsafe sex.
BOFH excuse #401: Sales staff sold a product we don't offer.
BOFH excuse #401: Sales staff sold a product we don't offer.
Debian Hint #42: If you install the command-not-found package, attempting to run a command you don't have installed will tell you what package to install to obtain that command.
Debian Hint #42: If you install the command-not-found package, attempting to run a command you don't have installed will tell you what package to install to obtain that command.
BOFH excuse #152: My pony-tail hit the on/off switch on the power strip.
BOFH excuse #152: My pony-tail hit the on/off switch on the power strip.
BOFH excuse #219: Recursivity. Call back if it happens again.
BOFH excuse #219: Recursivity. Call back if it happens again.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Debian Hint #26: If a package doesn't seem to have much documentation, check for a package named '-doc' and make sure to install it as well; packages with large amounts of documentation regularly split the docs in this manner for those who don't want to install them.
Debian Hint #26: If a package doesn't seem to have much documentation, check for a package named '<package>-doc' and make sure to install it as well; packages with large amounts of documentation regularly split the docs in this manner for those who don't want to install them.
BOFH excuse #288: Hard drive sleeping. Let it wake up on it's own...
BOFH excuse #288: Hard drive sleeping. Let it wake up on it's own...
Debian Hint #7: You can use the cron-apt package to do automatic nightly downloads of updates for packages installed on your system.
Debian Hint #7: You can use the cron-apt package to do automatic nightly downloads of updates for packages installed on your system.
Today is Pungenday, the 18th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Pungenday, the 18th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #56: Electricians made popcorn in the power supply
BOFH excuse #56: Electricians made popcorn in the power supply
BOFH excuse #417: Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend.
BOFH excuse #417: Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend.
BOFH excuse #42: spaghetti cable cause packet failure
BOFH excuse #42: spaghetti cable cause packet failure
BOFH excuse #212: Of course it doesn't work. We've performed a software upgrade.
BOFH excuse #212: Of course it doesn't work. We've performed a software upgrade.
Debian Hint #29: Keep your system clock accurate - install the 'ntpdate' package and configure it to set the time at startup. In addition, machines which are turned on most or all of the time should have the 'ntp' package installed to keep the time accurate in between reboots.
Debian Hint #29: Keep your system clock accurate - install the 'ntpdate' package and configure it to set the time at startup. In addition, machines which are turned on most or all of the time should have the 'ntp' package installed to keep the time accurate in between reboots.
BOFH excuse #432: Borg nanites have infested the server
BOFH excuse #432: Borg nanites have infested the server
BOFH excuse #106: The electrician didn't know what the yellow cable was so he yanked the ethernet out.
BOFH excuse #106: The electrician didn't know what the yellow cable was so he yanked the ethernet out.
Debian Hint #2: You can use 'dpkg-reconfigure ' to change the answers you gave to the questions asked when you first installed a package. The 'configure-debian' package provides a unified front end for doing this, as well.
Debian Hint #2: You can use 'dpkg-reconfigure <package>' to change the answers you gave to the questions asked when you first installed a package. The 'configure-debian' package provides a unified front end for doing this, as well.
BOFH excuse #3: electromagnetic radiation from satellite debris
BOFH excuse #3: electromagnetic radiation from satellite debris
BOFH excuse #206: Police are examining all internet packets in the search for a narco-net-trafficker
BOFH excuse #206: Police are examining all internet packets in the search for a narco-net-trafficker
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Debian Hint #1: You can report a bug in a package with the 'reportbug' command, which is available in the reportbug package, or by using the graphical frontend 'reportbug-ng'.
Debian Hint #1: You can report a bug in a package with the 'reportbug' command, which is available in the reportbug package, or by using the graphical frontend 'reportbug-ng'.
BOFH excuse #273: The cord jumped over and hit the power switch.
BOFH excuse #273: The cord jumped over and hit the power switch.
Today is Boomtime, the 17th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Boomtime, the 17th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #289: Interference between the keyboard and the chair.
BOFH excuse #289: Interference between the keyboard and the chair.
BOFH excuse #440: Cache miss - please take better aim next time
BOFH excuse #440: Cache miss - please take better aim next time
BOFH excuse #382: Someone was smoking in the computer room and set off the halon systems.
BOFH excuse #382: Someone was smoking in the computer room and set off the halon systems.
BOFH excuse #11: magnetic interference from money/credit cards
BOFH excuse #11: magnetic interference from money/credit cards
BOFH excuse #346: Your/our computer(s) had suffered a memory leak, and we are waiting for them to be topped up.
BOFH excuse #346: Your/our computer(s) had suffered a memory leak, and we are waiting for them to be topped up.
BOFH excuse #379: We've picked COBOL as the language of choice.
BOFH excuse #379: We've picked COBOL as the language of choice.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Debian Hint #8: If you have problems with Debian that you can't solve by reading the manuals and documentation, try asking on the Debian Users mailing list (debian-user@lists.debian.org).
Debian Hint #8: If you have problems with Debian that you can't solve by reading the manuals and documentation, try asking on the Debian Users mailing list (debian-user@lists.debian.org).
BOFH excuse #80: That's a great computer you have there; have you considered how it would work as a BSD machine?
BOFH excuse #80: That's a great computer you have there; have you considered how it would work as a BSD machine?
Today is Sweetmorn, the 16th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Sweetmorn, the 16th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #369: Virus transmitted from computer to sysadmins.
BOFH excuse #369: Virus transmitted from computer to sysadmins.
BOFH excuse #46: waste water tank overflowed onto computer
BOFH excuse #46: waste water tank overflowed onto computer
BOFH excuse #83: Support staff hung over, send aspirin and come back LATER.
BOFH excuse #83: Support staff hung over, send aspirin and come back LATER.
BOFH excuse #443: Zombie processes detected, machine is haunted.
BOFH excuse #443: Zombie processes detected, machine is haunted.
BOFH excuse #188: ..disk or the processor is on fire.
BOFH excuse #188: ..disk or the processor is on fire.
BOFH excuse #105: UPS interrupted the server's power
BOFH excuse #105: UPS interrupted the server's power
BOFH excuse #230: Lusers learning curve appears to be fractal
BOFH excuse #230: Lusers learning curve appears to be fractal
Friday, January 14, 2011
BOFH excuse #68: only available on a need to know basis
BOFH excuse #68: only available on a need to know basis
BOFH excuse #391: We already sent around a notice about that.
BOFH excuse #391: We already sent around a notice about that.
Today is Setting Orange, the 15th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Setting Orange, the 15th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #225: It's those computer people in X {city of world}. They keep stuffing things up.
BOFH excuse #225: It's those computer people in X {city of world}. They keep stuffing things up.
BOFH excuse #156: Zombie processes haunting the computer
BOFH excuse #156: Zombie processes haunting the computer
BOFH excuse #291: Due to the CDA, we no longer have a root account.
BOFH excuse #291: Due to the CDA, we no longer have a root account.
BOFH excuse #281: The co-locator cannot verify the frame-relay gateway to the ISDN server.
BOFH excuse #281: The co-locator cannot verify the frame-relay gateway to the ISDN server.
BOFH excuse #282: High altitude condensation from U.S.A.F prototype aircraft has contaminated the primary subnet mask. Turn off your computer for 9 days to avoid damaging it.
BOFH excuse #282: High altitude condensation from U.S.A.F prototype aircraft has contaminated the primary subnet mask. Turn off your computer for 9 days to avoid damaging it.
BOFH excuse #313: your process is not ISO 9000 compliant
BOFH excuse #313: your process is not ISO 9000 compliant
BOFH excuse #203: Write-only-memory subsystem too slow for this machine. Contact your local dealer.
BOFH excuse #203: Write-only-memory subsystem too slow for this machine. Contact your local dealer.
BOFH excuse #140: LBNC (luser brain not connected)
BOFH excuse #140: LBNC (luser brain not connected)
BOFH excuse #183: filesystem not big enough for Jumbo Kernel Patch
BOFH excuse #183: filesystem not big enough for Jumbo Kernel Patch
BOFH excuse #293: You must've hit the wrong any key.
BOFH excuse #293: You must've hit the wrong any key.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
BOFH excuse #176: vapors from evaporating sticky-note adhesives
BOFH excuse #176: vapors from evaporating sticky-note adhesives
'screen' can create multiple "windows" which you can detach and re-attach later. The Byobu package makes screen even simpler. http://launchpad.net/byobu
'screen' can create multiple "windows" which you can detach and re-attach later. The Byobu package makes screen even simpler. http://launchpad.net/byobu
BOFH excuse #306: CPU-angle has to be adjusted because of vibrations coming from the nearby road
BOFH excuse #306: CPU-angle has to be adjusted because of vibrations coming from the nearby road
BOFH excuse #410: Electrical conduits in machine room are melting.
BOFH excuse #410: Electrical conduits in machine room are melting.
BOFH excuse #50: Change in Earth's rotational speed
BOFH excuse #50: Change in Earth's rotational speed
Use "pastebinit" to copy a file, or output of a command to a webpage allowing you to share it. e.g. 'pastebinit /proc/cpuinfo' or 'df -h | pastebinit'
Use "pastebinit" to copy a file, or output of a command to a webpage allowing you to share it. e.g. 'pastebinit /proc/cpuinfo' or 'df -h | pastebinit'
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 14th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Prickle-Prickle, the 14th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #411: Traffic jam on the Information Superhighway.
BOFH excuse #411: Traffic jam on the Information Superhighway.
Append your ssh key to your server's authorized keys file using the command 'ssh-copy-id user@server_address'
Append your ssh key to your server's authorized keys file using the command 'ssh-copy-id user@server_address'
BOFH excuse #393: Interference from the Van Allen Belt.
BOFH excuse #393: Interference from the Van Allen Belt.
BOFH excuse #262: Our POP server was kidnapped by a weasel.
BOFH excuse #262: Our POP server was kidnapped by a weasel.
Use 'dpkg --get-selections > selections.txt' to save a selection and 'dpkg --set-selections < selections.txt && apt-get dselect-upgrade' to restore.
Use 'dpkg --get-selections > selections.txt' to save a selection and 'dpkg --set-selections < selections.txt && apt-get dselect-upgrade' to restore.
BOFH excuse #256: You need to install an RTFM interface.
BOFH excuse #256: You need to install an RTFM interface.
BOFH excuse #378: Operators killed by year 2000 bug bite.
BOFH excuse #378: Operators killed by year 2000 bug bite.
BOFH excuse #317: Internet exceeded Luser level, please wait until a luser logs off before attempting to log back on.
BOFH excuse #317: Internet exceeded Luser level, please wait until a luser logs off before attempting to log back on.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
BOFH excuse #320: You've been infected by the Telescoping Hubble virus.
BOFH excuse #320: You've been infected by the Telescoping Hubble virus.
BOFH excuse #19: floating point processor overflow
BOFH excuse #19: floating point processor overflow
BOFH excuse #383: Your processor has taken a ride to Heaven's Gate on the UFO behind Hale-Bopp's comet.
BOFH excuse #383: Your processor has taken a ride to Heaven's Gate on the UFO behind Hale-Bopp's comet.
BOFH excuse #286: Telecommunications is downgrading.
BOFH excuse #286: Telecommunications is downgrading.
Today is Pungenday, the 13th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Pungenday, the 13th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
BOFH excuse #114: electro-magnetic pulses from French above ground nuke testing.
BOFH excuse #114: electro-magnetic pulses from French above ground nuke testing.
BOFH excuse #36: dynamic software linking table corrupted
BOFH excuse #36: dynamic software linking table corrupted
Today is Boomtime, the 12th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Today is Boomtime, the 12th day of Chaos in the YOLD 3177
Debian Hint #10: There are Debian mailing lists for everything from user questions to debates over what to put into the Debian Policy documents. Check out the list at http://www.debian.org/MailingLists/ and subscribe to those that interest you.
Debian Hint #10: There are Debian mailing lists for everything from user questions to debates over what to put into the Debian Policy documents. Check out the list at http://www.debian.org/MailingLists/ and subscribe to those that interest you.
BOFH excuse #38: secretary plugged hairdryer into UPS
BOFH excuse #38: secretary plugged hairdryer into UPS
BOFH excuse #154: You can tune a file system, but you can't tune a fish (from most tunefs man pages)
BOFH excuse #154: You can tune a file system, but you can't tune a fish (from most tunefs man pages)
BOFH excuse #283: Lawn mower blade in your fan need sharpening
BOFH excuse #283: Lawn mower blade in your fan need sharpening
BOFH excuse #350: paradigm shift...without a clutch
BOFH excuse #350: paradigm shift...without a clutch
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
BOFH excuse #224: Jan 9 16:41:27 huber su: 'su root' succeeded for .... on /dev/pts/1
BOFH excuse #224: Jan 9 16:41:27 huber su: 'su root' succeeded for .... on /dev/pts/1
BOFH excuse #171: NOTICE: alloc: /dev/null: filesystem full
BOFH excuse #171: NOTICE: alloc: /dev/null: filesystem full
BOFH excuse #274: It was OK before you touched it.
BOFH excuse #274: It was OK before you touched it.
BOFH excuse #37: heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor rapidly
BOFH excuse #37: heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor rapidly
BOFH excuse #170: popper unable to process jumbo kernel
BOFH excuse #170: popper unable to process jumbo kernel
BOFH excuse #299: The data on your hard drive is out of balance.
BOFH excuse #299: The data on your hard drive is out of balance.
BOFH excuse #246: It must have been the lightning storm we had (yesterday) (last week) (last month)
BOFH excuse #246: It must have been the lightning storm we had (yesterday) (last week) (last month)
Debian Hint #38: Need a newer package than shipped with Debians last stable release but don't want to upgrade to 'testing' or 'unstable'? Some package
Debian Hint #38: Need a newer package than shipped with Debians last
stable release but don't want to upgrade to 'testing' or 'unstable'? Some
packages are kept up-to-date on volatile.debian.org, some others are made
available at www.backports.org.
stable release but don't want to upgrade to 'testing' or 'unstable'? Some
packages are kept up-to-date on volatile.debian.org, some others are made
available at www.backports.org.
BOFH excuse #380: Operators killed when huge stack of backup tapes fell over.
BOFH excuse #380: Operators killed when huge stack of backup tapes fell over.
BOFH excuse #278: The Dilithium Crystals need to be rotated.
BOFH excuse #278: The Dilithium Crystals need to be rotated.
BOFH excuse #426: internet is needed to catch the etherbunny
BOFH excuse #426: internet is needed to catch the etherbunny
Debian Hint #28: If your machine is not on all of the time (such as a laptop), check out the 'anacron' package; this will make sure that regular tasks
Debian Hint #28: If your machine is not on all of the time (such as a
laptop), check out the 'anacron' package; this will make sure that regular
tasks still happen, even if the machine isn't on at the time they would
normally trigger.
laptop), check out the 'anacron' package; this will make sure that regular
tasks still happen, even if the machine isn't on at the time they would
normally trigger.
BOFH excuse #366: ATM cell has no roaming feature turned on, notebooks can't connect
BOFH excuse #366: ATM cell has no roaming feature turned on, notebooks can't connect
BOFH excuse #67: descramble code needed from software company
BOFH excuse #67: descramble code needed from software company
BOFH excuse #216: What office are you in? Oh, that one. Did you know that your building was built over the universities first nuclear research site? And wow, aren't you the lucky one, your office is right over where the core is buried!
BOFH excuse #216: What office are you in? Oh, that one. Did you know that your building was built over the universities first nuclear research site? And wow, aren't you the lucky one, your office is right over where the core is buried!
Use lsof to find out which process has open handles for a file. 'lsof +D /path' will find all processes for the given path. This is useful for unmount
Use lsof to find out which process has open handles for a file. 'lsof +D
/path' will find all processes for the given path. This is useful for
unmounting media.
/path' will find all processes for the given path. This is useful for
unmounting media.
Instead of typing exit or closing the terminal if you want to logout you can press Ctrl+D.
Instead of typing exit or closing the terminal if you want to logout you can
press Ctrl+D.
press Ctrl+D.
Monday, January 10, 2011
'etckeeper' allows you to save changes you make to /etc in a bazaar repository. Useful to track and revert changes. http://tinyurl.com/etckeeper
'etckeeper' allows you to save changes you make to /etc in a bazaar
repository. Useful to track and revert
changes. http://tinyurl.com/etckeeper
repository. Useful to track and revert
changes. http://tinyurl.com/etckeeper
If you need to perform a command a second time on a different file, you can use command replacement with the ^ symbol. e.g. "cp foo.txt /to/some/direc
If you need to perform a command a second time on a different file, you can
use command replacement with the ^ symbol. e.g. "cp foo.txt
/to/some/directory" then "^foo^bar", expanding to: "cp bar.txt
/to/some/directory".
use command replacement with the ^ symbol. e.g. "cp foo.txt
/to/some/directory" then "^foo^bar", expanding to: "cp bar.txt
/to/some/directory".
The column allows you to format output neatly. ex: 'mount | column -t' will reformat mount's messy output. See 'man column' for more info.
The column allows you to format output neatly. ex: 'mount | column -t' will
reformat mount's messy output. See 'man column' for more info.
reformat mount's messy output. See 'man column' for more info.
If you are using a PostgreSQL database, use "ptop" to monitor real time usage.
If you are using a PostgreSQL database, use "ptop" to monitor real time
usage.
usage.
Use "tail -f /var/log/some.log" to see new lines added to a log instantly in real time. Ideal from watching webserver requests as they happen.
Use "tail -f /var/log/some.log" to see new lines added to a log instantly in
real time. Ideal from watching webserver requests as they happen.
real time. Ideal from watching webserver requests as they happen.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
For a lightweight VPN alternative, have a look at ssh + netcat-openbsd for SOCKS proxy support.
For a lightweight VPN alternative, have a look at ssh + netcat-openbsd for
SOCKS proxy support.
SOCKS proxy support.
The powernap package allows you to suspend servers which are not being used, and save energy. https://launchpad.net/powernap
The powernap package allows you to suspend servers which are not being used,
and save energy. https://launchpad.net/powernap
and save energy. https://launchpad.net/powernap
You can use the text-based web browser w3m to browse the Internet in your console screen. e.g 'w3m http://ubuntu.com'
You can use the text-based web browser w3m to browse the Internet in your
console screen. e.g 'w3m http://ubuntu.com'
console screen. e.g 'w3m http://ubuntu.com'
You can edit your network configuration in /etc/network/interfaces and enable your changes by issuing the command sudo /etc/init.d/networking restart.
You can edit your network configuration in /etc/network/interfaces and
enable your changes by issuing the command sudo /etc/init.d/networking
restart.
Tired of repeatedly pressing 'y' through some shell process (e.g. fsck)? Try the 'yes' command. 'man yes' for more info.
Tired of repeatedly pressing 'y' through some shell process (e.g. fsck)? Try
the 'yes' command. 'man yes' for more info.
Use awk to quickly filter columns from some command output. e.g.: ls -l | awk '{print $3 " " $9}'
Use awk to quickly filter columns from some command output. e.g.: ls -l |
awk '{print $3 " " $9}'
If you know you typed a command or password wrong, you can use ctrl + u to delete the whole line or ctrl + w to delete just a word.
If you know you typed a command or password wrong, you can use ctrl + u to
delete the whole line or ctrl + w to delete just a word.
To make a backup without typing the full path twice: 'cp /long/path/to/file/name{,.orig}' to create a copy with the suffix .orig
To make a backup without typing the full path twice: 'cp
/long/path/to/file/name{,.orig}' to create a copy with the suffix .orig
The 'history' command will show you the commands you've used before. Alternatively you can use the up arrow button to look through them.
The 'history' command will show you the commands you've used before.
Alternatively you can use the up arrow button to look through them.
Unsure if AppArmor might be causing an issue? Don't disable it, use the proper debugging procedure: https://wiki.ubuntu.com/DebuggingApparmor
Unsure if AppArmor might be causing an issue? Don't disable it, use the
proper debugging procedure: https://wiki.ubuntu.com/DebuggingApparmor
proper debugging procedure: https://wiki.ubuntu.com/DebuggingApparmor
Use "iotop" for measuring hard disk I/O (current read/write) usage per application.
Use "iotop" for measuring hard disk I/O (current read/write) usage per
application.
To restrict ssh logins to certain commands, have a look at the ForceCommand directive (see "man sshd_config").
To restrict ssh logins to certain commands, have a look at the ForceCommand
directive (see "man sshd_config").
Documentation and other resources pointers for Ubuntu Server Edition are provided at: http://www.ubuntu.com/server/doc
Documentation and other resources pointers for Ubuntu Server Edition are
provided at: http://www.ubuntu.com/server/doc
provided at: http://www.ubuntu.com/server/doc
Default installations do not provide a complete version of the vim text editor. Install vim-full if vi is your preferred editor.
Default installations do not provide a complete version of the vim text
editor. Install vim-full if vi is your preferred editor.
editor. Install vim-full if vi is your preferred editor.
To deactivate a service at boot, for example, apache2: 'sudo update-rc.d -f apache2 remove'. To activate it: 'sudo update-rc.d apache2 install default
To deactivate a service at boot, for example, apache2: 'sudo update-rc.d -f
apache2 remove'. To activate it: 'sudo update-rc.d apache2 install
defaults'.
apache2 remove'. To activate it: 'sudo update-rc.d apache2 install
defaults'.
Instead of typing the user and group, if they are the same (like for www-data) you can just type the user followed by a colon: 'sudo chown -R www-dat
Instead of typing the user and group, if they are the same (like for
www-data) you can just type the user followed by a colon: 'sudo chown -R
www-data: *'
www-data) you can just type the user followed by a colon: 'sudo chown -R
www-data: *'
To find in which file an event has been logged in use 'ls -ltr /var/log | tail' which will display the last modified logs.
To find in which file an event has been logged in use 'ls -ltr /var/log |
tail' which will display the last modified logs.
tail' which will display the last modified logs.
Did you know that releases of Ubuntu labeled LTS are maintained for 5 years on servers? 'cat /etc/lsb-release' will tell you which release you are on.
Did you know that releases of Ubuntu labeled LTS are maintained for 5 years
on servers? 'cat /etc/lsb-release' will tell you which release you are on.
on servers? 'cat /etc/lsb-release' will tell you which release you are on.
You can add "| grep word" to search for a word in the output of a command. grep can also search through several files: "grep -r -e word /etc".
You can add "| grep word" to search for a word in the output of a command.
grep can also search through several files: "grep -r -e word /etc".
grep can also search through several files: "grep -r -e word /etc".
Successive commands usually process the same argument. 'Alt-.' inserts the last argument of the previous command. GNU readline rocks, read the manual.
Successive commands usually process the same argument. 'Alt-.' inserts the
last argument of the previous command. GNU readline rocks, read the manual.
last argument of the previous command. GNU readline rocks, read the manual.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Keep your servers time in sync, use the ntpd package. https://help.ubuntu.com/9.10/serverguide/C/NTP.html
Keep your servers time in sync, use the ntpd package.
https://help.ubuntu.com/9.10/serverguide/C/NTP.html
https://help.ubuntu.com/9.10/serverguide/C/NTP.html
Typing 'dmesg | tail' after you plug in usb storage will give you its partition name (ex: /dev/sdb1) simplifying the mounting process.
Typing 'dmesg | tail' after you plug in usb storage will give you its
partition name (ex: /dev/sdb1) simplifying the mounting process.
partition name (ex: /dev/sdb1) simplifying the mounting process.
You can change your hostname by editing the file /etc/hostname.
You can change your hostname by editing the file /etc/hostname.
Package updates can be automated on your server using the unattended-upgrades package. https://help.ubuntu.com/9.10/serverguide/C/automatic-updates.ht
Package updates can be automated on your server using the
unattended-upgrades package.
https://help.ubuntu.com/9.10/serverguide/C/automatic-updates.html
unattended-upgrades package.
https://help.ubuntu.com/9.10/serverguide/C/automatic-updates.html
Want to run your own cloud infrastructure in your enterprise? Ubuntu Enterprise Cloud powered by Eucalyptus has what you need: http://www.ubuntu.com/c
Want to run your own cloud infrastructure in your enterprise? Ubuntu
Enterprise Cloud powered by Eucalyptus has what you need:
http://www.ubuntu.com/cloud
Enterprise Cloud powered by Eucalyptus has what you need:
http://www.ubuntu.com/cloud
To manage Apache virtualhosts use "a2ensite" to enable and "a2dissite" to disable. e.g. "sudo a2ensite example.org"
To manage Apache virtualhosts use "a2ensite" to enable and "a2dissite" to
disable. e.g. "sudo a2ensite example.org"
disable. e.g. "sudo a2ensite example.org"
An easy way to see what processes own which network connections: 'sudo netstat -tup' for connections and 'sudo netstat -tupl for listening process.
An easy way to see what processes own which network connections: 'sudo
netstat -tup' for connections and 'sudo netstat -tupl for listening process.
netstat -tup' for connections and 'sudo netstat -tupl for listening process.
Your KVM powered virtual machines will do IOs up to seven times faster if you enable virtio. http://tinyurl.com/virtio
Your KVM powered virtual machines will do IOs up to seven times faster if
you enable virtio. http://tinyurl.com/virtio
you enable virtio. http://tinyurl.com/virtio
Did you know that you can get useful notifications displayed at the bottom of a terminal by using the byobu package? http://launchpad.net/byobu
Did you know that you can get useful notifications displayed at the bottom
of a terminal by using the byobu package? http://launchpad.net/byobu
of a terminal by using the byobu package? http://launchpad.net/byobu
Having trouble with DNS records? dig, ping and named-checkzone are great tools to debug your bind9 setup.
Having trouble with DNS records? dig, ping and named-checkzone are great
tools to debug your bind9 setup.
tools to debug your bind9 setup.
Reach the end-of-line with ctrl-e and the beginning of line with ctrl-a.
Reach the end-of-line with ctrl-e and the beginning of line with ctrl-a.
Install 'denyhosts' to help protect against brute force SSH attacks, auto-blocking multiple attempts.
Install 'denyhosts' to help protect against brute force SSH attacks,
auto-blocking multiple attempts.
auto-blocking multiple attempts.
You can change your hostname by editing the file /etc/hostname.
You can change your hostname by editing the file /etc/hostname.
If you need to compile a piece of software, you may need to install the build-essential package. Use 'sudo apt-get install build-essential'.
If you need to compile a piece of software, you may need to install the
build-essential package. Use 'sudo apt-get install build-essential'.
build-essential package. Use 'sudo apt-get install build-essential'.
If the empty file ~/.hushlogin exists on the server, login to the server will be super quiet. Only the bash prompt is displayed.
If the empty file ~/.hushlogin exists on the server, login to the server
will be super quiet. Only the bash prompt is displayed.
will be super quiet. Only the bash prompt is displayed.
Friday, January 7, 2011
To manage Apache modules use "a2enmod" to enable and "a2dismod" to disable. e.g. 'sudo a2enmod rewrite'
To manage Apache modules use "a2enmod" to enable and "a2dismod" to disable.
e.g. 'sudo a2enmod rewrite'
e.g. 'sudo a2enmod rewrite'
Need a little refresh on networking concept? Take a look at the networking section of the server guide.
Need a little refresh on networking concept? Take a look at the networking
section of the server guide.
https://help.ubuntu.com/9.10/serverguide/C/networking.html
section of the server guide.
https://help.ubuntu.com/9.10/serverguide/C/networking.html
You can contact the Ubuntu Server team on IRC using chat.freenode.net in channel #ubuntu-server. You can also use http://webchat.freenode.net.
You can contact the Ubuntu Server team on IRC using chat.freenode.net in
channel #ubuntu-server. You can also use http://webchat.freenode.net.
channel #ubuntu-server. You can also use http://webchat.freenode.net.
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to
complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
If you want to download a file from a URL via the console, you can use the command 'wget http://address/to/file.tar'
If you want to download a file from a URL via the console, you can use the
command 'wget http://address/to/file.tar'
command 'wget http://address/to/file.tar'
To have grep return the string you are looking for without checking for upper or lower case use '-i'. e.g. grep -i readme somefile.txt
To have grep return the string you are looking for without checking for
upper or lower case use '-i'. e.g. grep -i readme somefile.txt
upper or lower case use '-i'. e.g. grep -i readme somefile.txt
Use the 'watch' command to repeat the same command a regular interval and get helpful datetime output. 'man watch' for more details.
Use the 'watch' command to repeat the same command a regular interval and
get helpful datetime output. 'man watch' for more details.
get helpful datetime output. 'man watch' for more details.
If you executed a command and neglected to use sudo, you can execute "sudo !!" to re-execute the previous command with sudo prepended.
If you executed a command and neglected to use sudo, you can execute "sudo
!!" to re-execute the previous command with sudo prepended.
!!" to re-execute the previous command with sudo prepended.
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
Save time starting to type a command or file name, then press tab to
complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
complete Hit tab twice to bring up multiple completion options.
Two packages are recommended to perform backups of your clients and servers in ubuntu: 'backuppc' and 'bacula'.
Two packages are recommended to perform backups of your clients and servers
in ubuntu: 'backuppc' and 'bacula'.
in ubuntu: 'backuppc' and 'bacula'.
Edit the command line with cut and paste: ctrl-k for cut, and ctrl-y for paste.
Edit the command line with cut and paste: ctrl-k for cut, and ctrl-y for
paste.
paste.
Browse the command line history with ctrl-r and then type a few characters that you know are part of the command you are looking for.
Browse the command line history with ctrl-r and then type a few characters
that you know are part of the command you are looking for.
that you know are part of the command you are looking for.
A for loop in bash syntax: 'for i in * ; do echo $i ; done'.
A for loop in bash syntax: 'for i in * ; do echo $i ; done'.
The free command tells you the status of your memory and swap, how much you have used and how much you have left.
The free command tells you the status of your memory and swap, how much you
have used and how much you have left.
have used and how much you have left.
Use "iftop" to monitor current network activity connections per host.
Use "iftop" to monitor current network activity connections per host.
The Ubuntu Server Team is an open community always looking for feedback and help: https://launchpad.net/~ubuntu-server
The Ubuntu Server Team is an open community always looking for feedback and
help: https://launchpad.net/~ubuntu-server
help: https://launchpad.net/~ubuntu-server
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